Forever and Ever

I was at Lindsay’s grave site and I was having a hard day. I was emotional, I was hurting and I was needing answers. Not so much the “why is Lindsay gone?”, but more about our souls. For the days leading up to this visit I had been trying to think in terms of “unfathomable” since that is what Heaven is supposed to be. I know that in itself does not make sense but my human instinct was trying to imagine the “unfathomable” concept of how our soul lives on and what the purpose of our soul is here on Earth. That lead into the thoughts of whether or not on some level my soul and Lindsay’s soul was still communicating. Since we can’t see our soul or feel our soul could it be possible? I chose to believe they were and that stayed on my mind for days, it was all that was on my mind.

While sitting at Lindsay’s grave in my moment of weakness I was praying, crying, and trying to seek answers. I began thinking about our souls again. All of the sudden like I was  a child with total clarity learning something for the first time I had these thoughts…

I have a soul that became one with God when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Lindsay has a soul that became one with God when she accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour.

When we took our vow of marriage our souls became one and both souls already belonging to God joined to form one soul that would then be one with God as well.

It was as simple as 1, 2, 3 and I felt an incredible sense of clarity and peace I had yet to feel since her passing. I literally said out loud “that’s it”, wiped my tears, kissed her goodbye and was on my way.

I know this should be common knowledge when getting married as believers, but this was the first time I recognized this. The days leading up to my visit I had been discussing my “soul theory” with a friend. The next day I was talking with my friend and they said the night before they were reading the bible and referenced Genesis 2:22-24 where God says he formed a woman from a rib of man and then man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh. I had never heard this before as crazy as that sounds, but this is exactly what God told me while sitting next to her. I knew it was divine at this point.

Since then I have researched more on the subject of marriage, man, woman, biblical laws and widows. It discusses women being bound to their husband as long as he is alive, once he dies, by law she is no longer bound to him and is free to remarry. It mentions younger widows should remarry to avoid sinful ways, but there is one statement that sticks out to me more than any other…

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 states “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”

I choose to believe this true. I know we go through our “lives” as humans satisfying human needs and doing human things, but my thought process has changed. When you begin to think in terms of “Eternity” you change the way you live, you are no longer focused on the human way of life and you now focus on your eternal walk with God and your spiritual life which is eternal. Our “life” here on Earth is short, we all know that, but the truth to that is “Eternity” is forever and when we believe and understand that, we can truly start living.

In that regard I choose to believe Lindsay and I are still joined as one. Our soul is still alive in “Eternal” life and one day we will reunite. I don’t know what God has in store for me and the boys, but I will live every second of my life from here forward as it is eternal life.

The only way I know I will get this eternal life is I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour and I am thankful for that.

I will love you forever and ever.



6 responses to “Forever and Ever

  • Julie Adams

    It’s weird to read this as I watched my Dad go through these same things when Mom passed away ten years ago. They were together 29 years so it was as if his life was this question mark. He had to go home to the house they lived as you do; he had to face all of these things… I was off at college so it was easier for me… He did remarry four years later, but we do believe their souls are still connected somehow. I realized something as I lay paralyzed with sadness and fear over Mom one day – I realized life had to go on. The world did not stop spinning so me laying there would not solve anything. There is no right way to grieve, Gabe… You are doing it in your own way and the best thing is you are living by faith through it all. There are times you may even get angry at God, but I pray during those times you find peace. Keep finding Lindsay in everyday things and find those signs because it is her watching over you. We keep ya’ll in our prayers.

  • Carla McKissic

    Your faith is amazing. I believe after reading this, you have the gift of preaching. God is working on you Gabe for greatness. Hallelujah, your best is yet to come!

  • Lisa Jones

    Thank you Gabe for reminding us all that there is so much more than “this life”. You and Lindsay are joined for all eternity and you will be reunited with your bride again. In the blink of an eye the life that we’ve been waiting for with our Lord and Savior and loved ones will begin. Oh what a Glorious Day! Keep writing as you are touching so many people! You truly have a gift from God Gabe… keep shining for HIM!


  • Michele Jamison

    It was strange to me that I saw this quote right after reading your latest entry. I just wanted to share it and say how amazing your sharing her life has been to read. You are an amazing writer and a strong and wonderful man. Here is the quote I saw from Emily Bronte

    “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Yours and Lindsay’s were the same as well.

  • Rebecca

    WOw Gabe! This message truly hit my heart and I was almost in tears reading it. You showed what a wonderful relationship you had with Lindsay. I know you are going to do whats best for you and your kids. I told Lindsay what a beautiful family yall have together. It breaks my heart that you lost such angel. She is watching down on you and your kids every day. Theres going to be good days and bad. I pray that your heart heals. God always has a plan and will never leave you out to dry. God bless Gabe!

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