I was at Lindsay’s grave site and I was having a hard day. I was emotional, I was hurting and I was needing answers. Not so much the “why is Lindsay gone?”, but more about our souls. For the days leading up to this visit I had been trying to think in terms of “unfathomable” since that is what Heaven is supposed to be. I know that in itself does not make sense but my human instinct was trying to imagine the “unfathomable” concept of how our soul lives on and what the purpose of our soul is here on Earth. That lead into the thoughts of whether or not on some level my soul and Lindsay’s soul was still communicating. Since we can’t see our soul or feel our soul could it be possible? I chose to believe they were and that stayed on my mind for days, it was all that was on my mind.
While sitting at Lindsay’s grave in my moment of weakness I was praying, crying, and trying to seek answers. I began thinking about our souls again. All of the sudden like I was a child with total clarity learning something for the first time I had these thoughts…
I have a soul that became one with God when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Lindsay has a soul that became one with God when she accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour.
When we took our vow of marriage our souls became one and both souls already belonging to God joined to form one soul that would then be one with God as well.
It was as simple as 1, 2, 3 and I felt an incredible sense of clarity and peace I had yet to feel since her passing. I literally said out loud “that’s it”, wiped my tears, kissed her goodbye and was on my way.
I know this should be common knowledge when getting married as believers, but this was the first time I recognized this. The days leading up to my visit I had been discussing my “soul theory” with a friend. The next day I was talking with my friend and they said the night before they were reading the bible and referenced Genesis 2:22-24 where God says he formed a woman from a rib of man and then man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh. I had never heard this before as crazy as that sounds, but this is exactly what God told me while sitting next to her. I knew it was divine at this point.
Since then I have researched more on the subject of marriage, man, woman, biblical laws and widows. It discusses women being bound to their husband as long as he is alive, once he dies, by law she is no longer bound to him and is free to remarry. It mentions younger widows should remarry to avoid sinful ways, but there is one statement that sticks out to me more than any other…
1 Corinthians 7:39-40 states “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”
I choose to believe this true. I know we go through our “lives” as humans satisfying human needs and doing human things, but my thought process has changed. When you begin to think in terms of “Eternity” you change the way you live, you are no longer focused on the human way of life and you now focus on your eternal walk with God and your spiritual life which is eternal. Our “life” here on Earth is short, we all know that, but the truth to that is “Eternity” is forever and when we believe and understand that, we can truly start living.
In that regard I choose to believe Lindsay and I are still joined as one. Our soul is still alive in “Eternal” life and one day we will reunite. I don’t know what God has in store for me and the boys, but I will live every second of my life from here forward as it is eternal life.
The only way I know I will get this eternal life is I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour and I am thankful for that.