Not For Me

Lindsay’s passing has forced me and lot of people around me to look at their lives…

How they live

How they love

Who they love

What they say

What they do

What really matters

And the big WHY?

Why are we here, why do we do the things we do, why do we live the lives we do?

For me the biggest question that has been answered for me is the WHO…

Who do we live this life for…

Is it for me?

Is it for you?

Is it for him?

Is it for her?

I have had faith all my life, this is not a new thing. I didn’t go searching for this faith when Lindsay passed.

The first thing I said out loud when Lindsay took her last breath here on Earth was “I will never deny you.”

It was then I knew whole heartedly WHO I live this life for.

I live it for my God, your God, his God, her God.

My first thought when my wife, best friend, my everything was gone was “I will never deny YOU GOD.”

I know you are good. I know you are powerful. I know you love me and I will NEVER deny you.

I wish I could pick and choose what happens in this life… as I have mentioned before we all want that “perfect” life. Perfect health, perfect timing, perfect circumstances so that every decision is easy.

The hard truth is this life what we feel is perfect is not always the case.

“Wouldn’t it be nice?”

That’s a question I use to ask a lot. This is one I would love to be able to ask now, but it just doesn’t work. When you go down that road you just get set up for disappointment.

So then what do you do?

You ask God for guidance. Sometimes that guidance can be hard. How do you know where the “answers” are coming from?

Mom use to tell me “if it feels wrong, it is wrong.”

The devil can be deceiving, so can’t he make it seem like it is right, when it is wrong?

I stick my face in the Bible, I pray, I ask God for the answers. I ask him to keep demons and all that is evil far away. I ask for clarity, wisdom, and understanding.

Still how do you know who is making you feel the way you are?

For me there is one thing that has remained constant for me…


I don’t feel that the devil has it in him to provide peace.

That is God’s weapon. That is how I know.

So as I continue this journey of life, I will live it for God and I will get my answers in the peace that I feel.

That does not mean things will always be easy… what may be hard at first with just getting a glimpse of light… in the end if you live this life for God and find your peace… it can only be good.



3 responses to “Not For Me

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